The Three Main Causes of Conflict
in an Estate Settlement
and What to do About Them
By Angie Epting Morris, Author of
THE SETTLEMENT GAME:
How to Settle an Estate Peacefully and Fairly
Most attorneys believe that the majority of problems related to dividing
an estate should be solved outside of the courtroom – in other words,
prevented. In a sense, if you discuss this subject with those who counsel
individuals over personal family matters such as arguments and conflicts that
arise from the process of settling an estate, the usual response is that most
people could solve their own relationship problems without attorneys if they
would just listen to one another, communicate and practice the Golden Rule: “Do
unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Throughout the book:
THE SETTLEMENT GAME: How to Settle an Estate
Peacefully and Fairly, many possibilities for
sources of conflict are outlined and discussed. Among these, three sources stand
out as the main causes of conflict. Following is a brief summary of each, with
an overview of what to do about them to
help avoid family discord.
1. Many of the problems that arise at the time of a
division or settlement of an estate are caused by
the interference from spouses or children of the heirs, not the immediate heirs
themselves.
In any discussion with people who have been through conflict in their
family during the division process, this interference usually comes up. If you
think about stories you have heard from people on this topic, there is usually a
reference to someone “once removed” from being an immediate heir who created the
tension which led to problems. This is often someone who wants something – but
who is not an immediate heir – only related to one. That is not to say that such
a person does not care about the family. It is likely that in most cases this is
done unintentionally. Yet, a request from someone closely related to one of the
heirs often becomes a major source of conflict.
How to avoid conflict from such:
Rule # 1 - Only immediate
heirs should be involved in the division process during the settlement of the
estate. All outside
influences, such as spouses, children, in-laws, grandchildren, and friends
should NOT participate, especially at the beginning of the process.
2. A second major cause of conflict comes from the
early removal of items from the home place or estate,
without the overall consent and approval of all other heirs. Once in a while you
will hear of one of the heirs who simply goes in ahead of time and takes what
they want – almost spitefully – or perhaps with the idea of getting it out
before anyone notices it is gone. However, usually this type of act is
innocently done, thinking that this is acceptable since they have justified it
to themselves for some “good” reason.
How to avoid conflict from such:
Rule # 2 – Do not remove
anything from the home or premises prior to the division process.
If common sense requires such for safe-keeping, make sure all heirs agree.
3. The age-old question remains: “What causes conflicts in
estate settlements more than anything else?” Most experts would agree that
personality differences are a primary cause of
conflict during the division process of an estate settlement.
Without understanding these differences, keeping the peace and avoiding conflict
will be much more difficult to accomplish.
How to avoid conflict from such:
Rule # 3 – Try to gain an
understanding of the personality types of the other heirs involved.
It is important to understand the basic traits of each person involved, and the
best way in which to communicate with that personality style. By doing this,
many conflicts can be avoided that would otherwise have developed because of
simple misunderstandings among heirs. (Highly Recommended
Reading:
Positive Personality Profiles,
by Dr. Robert Rohm.) This and other related books and personality assessment
tools can be found at:
http://www.thesettlementgame.com.
________________________________________________________________
Angie Epting Morris, author of THE
SETTLEMENT GAME: How to Settle an Estate Peacefully and Fairly, is
considered an expert on how to keep peace and avoid conflict when dividing
furniture and personal property of an estate. Foreword to her book was written
by Judge Griffin Bell, former U.S. Attorney General. For more information about
Angie and her advice or to get her Free Report and other Estate Settlement Tips,
go to http://www.peacefulsettlements.com.